Wholehearted lives

I was reminded of this TED Talk while reading Gretchen Rubin's blog, The Happiness Project, and since I've already told that it's not about you, I thought on this Friday that I'd let you know that it is - at least when it comes to happiness. Interviewed by Rubin, Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher professor at the University of Houston, describes why we're are own worst enemies:

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?

As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster. I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it. It's a struggle for me - especially since I became a mother, but I'm working on it. Every day....

It's hard for me to be happy when I'm perfecting, pretending, pleasing and proving myself. I'm too exhausted.

Let's just say that "perfecting, pretending, pleasing and proving" struck a chord. Have a great weekend.